Now if you're me and you think the way as me as soon as you walk into the room your eyes search for any way to kill yourself. There are many reason for this. There are so many things I dislike about not just weddings but family events in general. Like of course seeing my family is great and sitting there and not talking to anyone for 5 hours is a great way to spend my time. 

At weddings in particular there are so many things I dislike such as the fact that literally everyone is crying. The aunties and parents are crying because they don't want to 'let her go' even though they'll see them again for the rest of their lives. The kids are crying because of the lack of attention being given to them. The brides in tears making all the cousins cry and I don't understand why. Like I swear weddings are supposed to be happy.

I feel like them time leading up the wedding is equally stressing, finding one suit for everyday and when the bride makes the deadly descion of having ceremony and the reception of two different days having to find another outfit. By the end of it just the thought of looking at another suit makes you feel physically sick.

I also don't like half of the people that are there eg. some my aunties, my cousin that are way too patronising because they think that if they're 10 years older that makes me ten years old. 

Let me explain my aunties, see because of my fast metabolism, it is a lot harder for me to put on weight and I'm going to stay skinny until about the age of 2-something causing me to be a skinny girl naturally. But my aunties don't seem to understand that. They constantly comment on my weight, about whether I have put on weight or not. I think the worst thing is if I turn down one thing like an extra samosa or whatever they automaically think I'm anorexic or whatever going on a speech about how I'm so skinny and I'm going to whither away or something, now I could probably deal with it if they'd only mentioned it once or twice but when they mention it every time they see me it gets tad annoying. The worst thing is when they comment on my sister, now that really pisses me off because she doesn't know what to say so she just accepts it but its like 'no, shut up, she's 12 she's doesn't need snobby bitches like you commenting on her weight!!". It's like over hearing a bunch of girls bitching about your best friend and it literally kills you not to say anything. I mean sometimes I do but it's not like they listen to me anyways, going back my cousins thoughts, 'I'm just a kid'. I swear its an aunties job just to make you to feel as self conscious as possible 

The whole family event thing in general just freaks me out, especially when we're at my nans and there's like 30 of us just cramped into the downstairs of a tiny house. It feels like all the air is being sucked out and I can't do anything but sit there and think about a good time to escape upstairs to my book or iPad or whatever. See my nephew has Aspergers so he has a natural free pass to stay upstairs all night since his disorder tells people that he has social anxiety instead of people having to push me in a hole of silence where I'm not saying anything but inside my head is exploding. Although when I do manage to escape upstairs it great because its just me and my book or something but until someone comes in the room to get something and spots me. They say "Maya come downstairs you're missing everything." I'll be polite and say "no thank you" and they're like "no seriously come downstairs." So I'm forced downstairs. When I get to there it's the same thing as before where everyone is ignoring me and I'm just there collecting dust so I take out my phone and instantly my mum notices me and says "Maya get that phone away or I will take it off you." So I sit there again but somehow managing to get back upstairs and the cycle just continues.

I've kind of just realised that none of my cousins are really bothered about me so when my cousins from Canada come over for weddings it's a bit better because they don't know how my English cousins feel about me so they make an effort which is cool of them.

But now let me immerse myself in the deadly activities of an Indian wedding and hopefully I will see you on the other side

Maya xx