The thing is when I have these moments I never really know what to do. I don't know if I should talk to someone, read a book, take a nap, watch videos of my favourite people in the world, watch a film, do the cleaning, change something or sit there and let the tears flow. 

I think this is something that will bug me every time I have one of these moments because I feel like everyone of these moments are different, they could be about the same thing but they are always different. 

Being home alone when this happen can either be the greatest thing or the worst thing. It's great because you can let the tears flow as loud as you want but then when the tears start to slow you suddenly feel very alone like you have no one to talk to. So then you message your closest friends asking them to talk and the first one replies and the tears come again for this I do not know why maybe because you start to think more about the shitness of your life or because...I don't know a because. When you start to feel better you say "thank you for the time, I love you and will always be there for you". You sit there for a little bit feeling a lot better and you start to pick up the pieces but then the second person replies causing you to completely drop everything. The tears aren't as heavy and it's just the person trying their very best to make you feel better and you wiping your nose.

So now I sit here writing this and having just experienced that, I have no idea what I'm going to do now. My mum wants me to clean my room and hoover the corridor so I guess cleaning could help but now I fret "what do I do after that." and you have to think of something else you can do. 

I think what ever you do next just don't do it in the room you had your moment other wise the memories could come and it could all start again. Maybe I'll go downstairs watch some Catfish maybe a little Keeping Up With the Kardashians and wait for my little sister to come home.

Oh yes my little sister, my little baby sister. I must make sure I am okay by then. I don't want her to know that this is what teenage life will do to her. She is my strong little sister and I am her strong big sister.

Whenever you have these moments (sorry this will be cheesy) just remember that you aren't the only person who has these moments and its in the word MOMENT. Not forever just a moment. Obviously some moments last longer than others but they are only temporary. We all need time to let the tears flow and that's good. I think maybe it's healthy to have these moments. Let everything out for a moment and then suck it back in. 

Remember they're just moments 

Maya xx